The Danger of Google

I'm a little worried I'm being misrepresented by the ubiquitous search Gods. Yesterday, freakishly early in the morning, someone came to my blog via google. the search string looked like this:

search?q="green day" mature paradigm beautiful inspired

I don't think I want Google extending the welcome mat to people who would consider Green Day worthy of sharing a search string with a word like paradigm. There is nothing paradigmatic about Green Day. Iconic maybe, but even then, not the kind of icon I'd want to worship, or even keep around the house.

My dislike for Green Day comes not so much from the actions or music of the band themselves, as what those actions and that music has incubated in pop culture. Put simply, Green Day is the Pater Familias of a motley and annoying brood of worthless pre-teen-pandering angst punks.

I guess that makes them paradigmatic . . . though in the worst possible way.

From the Pentateuch of Anguish and Parental Disdain:

And there came to pass, in the year of Billie Joe, a great trembling amongst the people. Three men walked among them, and when they spoke, they spoke with one voice. And when they complained, theirs was the bitchiness of untold multitudes.

And when they sang, many albums were sold.

In this way the three reaped great bounties for their record company. And, living by the mandate of their lords, A&R representatives sought out others from amongst the multitudes to mimic the three. Many would take up the mantle, for the resonance of the three came not from talent, nay, but from juvenile anger. Verily, from the people, the cup of anger flowethed over.

In that way Green Day begat Blink 182, MXPX and AFI.

Those who liked Green Day but whose parents refused to buy guitars "when you never even play your trumpet/trombone/saxophone/upright bass" became Catch 22, Save Ferris and Reel Big Fish.

Blink 182 begat Sum 41, New Found Glory, Jimmy Eat World, The Ataris and thirty other bands who really like the word penis.

Those who liked Blink 182 but who weren't allowed to curse and who could not afford amplifiers became Dashboard Confessional and Yellow Card.

MXPX inspired a bunch of straight edge kids to stop blaming God for their parent's divorce and start worshipping them. AFI started out as whiny 16 year olds, but inexplicably went Goth after four albums, developed a fixation with eye shadow and begat Mourning After, Alkaline Trio, and Good Charlotte.

Album sales soared as children frittered away the toil of their hands.

The A&Rs saw that it was good.

Now, I also hate Green Day for making me do a Google search on pop punk bands to fill that list, which led me to this forum of 12 year olds discussing what it means to be punk. It contains the quote:

"Never heard of em,but if they are the least bit pop punk or posers(which is pretty much the same thing)I wouldn't like them." -- Slasherpunk18

Gaaah. Bad enough, yes. But then, just minutes later, someone was directed to the blog after typing in the following:
search?q=jerry stiller rush concert

My past haunts me.

I hate you mom, I hate you dad / Why'd'ya hafta go and make me feel so bad? -- from the demo for my new band: Pissed Pierced Punks Who Hate Everyone and Who Will Never Sell Out, Not Even for a Million Dollars. PPPWHEWWNSONEMD for short.